Thursday, November 5, 2009

Soooo behind!

My friend, Judi, mentioned how behind she is in everything.... I told her I wondered if there were some sort of club we might join... a 12-step program perhaps? I keep thinking life stuff will calm down but it doesn't. This is my new normal and it makes me tired.

I don't even know how to catch up since I've not posted here in about 3 weeks! Where did that time go? So, let's see...
-I got Halloween costumes finished in time so my Ninja's were happy.
-I've been working on some items to sell at an upcoming arts/craft bazaar... slowly.
-trying to catch up on bookkeeping type stuff.
-went out of town to a FANTASTIC women's retreat through my church. It was up north near the Grand Canyon so much cooler weather and lots of trees! Photos to follow.... There were about 150 women that attended. Our times together were powerful. I also got some alone time in the woods to paint in my journal, take pictures, walk early in the mornings, yoga... well, it was just a wonderful weekend. I was thankful that God worked out all the details for childcare so I could go... even if he waits until the 11th hour to do it! Guess He likes the thrill and excitement of the last minute miracles! LOL!
-been doing lots of hard emotional work, homework for my support group, etc... and facing some of my grief stuff that I've been stuffing down out of survival. I mean, if I sit in my grief over many, many things from this year, I would drown in tears and not be able to function. So I've not allowed myself... or just haven't known how, to feel the force of the grief. I've been afraid that if I let it out, I will not be able to function and then who will care for my kids if I can't function? However, I'm learning that I can have some serious times of grief and in a couple of days, I can pick myself back up and keep moving forward. But it's SOOOO exhausting! I think I've had a nap almost every day this week. I'm not talking a 20 minute nap. I am talking "pass out cold for about 2 hours and can't seem to come out of the stupor for another hour" kind of naps... and then ready to pass out again by 9:00.
-today I took Max to a Dr.'s appt. that I probably should have taken him to several years ago. He has ADHD and we will start medication tomorrow. Since it is inherited, we are trying the same medication that Chuck uses. I hope we see a turn around. It's heart breaking to have your very bright, intelligent child sobbing because he feels stupid at school over his difficulty to not only do the work, but to stay on task about anything, follow directions, stay in trouble for not listening, talking, disrupting, etc.... He's really, really struggling in school this year and having such difficulty even getting his work done at all. This means a TON of it gets sent home and I have to deal with it. Not a pretty picture. Norman Rockwell moments do not often exist in our house, especially when there's school work involved. I'm very thankful Max has a fantastic and understanding teacher who is really trying to work with Max and me making the best decisions for him to get help. Chuck met us at the appt. today and we both liked the Dr. very much. I feel hopeful.
-I had to cancel one of the classes I planned to teach in April at the retreat in Texas. I hated to do it but the schedule was just so tight, I just didn't see how it could realistically be accomplished. I think I would have come home physically ill. But there are still 3 to choose from!!!
-I'm sorta' patiently waiting to see if any of my class proposals was accepted for AU 2010. I hope the wait will end soon!
-my art classes for the home school kids is going really well! They are such fun!
-I will be turning 45 on the 16th of this month. That sounds so weird to say when I feel so much younger. I always wonder if those who are say, oh... 75, feel about 45 and often think that way until they look in the mirror and realize that it's not true. I often think of myself about 30. I just know that this getting older thing is a very strange thing.

Well, here are a few photos from my retreat weekend. It was so beautiful!!!
This was the sunrise just starting my first morning... I got up THAT early to the dark! LOL! It was about 35 degrees out that morning.
Mountainside... boulders and trees
This little guy kept me company while I painted. I have never in my life heard a squirrel chatter like this one did. He was talking away at me. Wish I could have understood what he was saying. He stayed in the top of the tree watching me so closely for soooo long. See?

These boogers are skittish birds and very hard to photograph. I was persistent and finally successful. Stellar Jays are gorgeous birds. Wish we had them down in the valley!

I'd like a whole wardrobe out of this color combination! LOVE the moss!

I have a thing for the dead trees. I think they are so beautiful. I'm only showing you one shot I took and sparing you from the many others!

Finally, the grand finale of the day... God sure knows how to paint a sunset, doesn't He? Amazing! Try mixing those colors on a palette!

1 comment:

The Backporch Artessa said...

Even though you've been so busy with life, it's so wonderful that you've still captured so much daily beauty! Thanks for sharing! Hang in there girl, we're praying for you!