I am an introvert. I NEED time by myself to think and process life. My kids have been out of school now for 3-1/2 weeks with the first 2-1/2 being before the holidays, which is craziness in and of itself. Now, with them being sick, there is no option for finding a babysitter to get out! On top of that, there's no uninterrupted time to create. This is also a GREAT need for me. I feel like I'm being starved. If only I could lose a few pounds this way! LOL! Then, Minya' s death sent me in a downward spiral of grief. I truly have had no alone time to really process anything. I walk around in a zombie-like state in my pajamas crying when I wake up, crying while I wash dishes, crying while I fold laundry, crying while I make breakfast, crying myself to sleep, etc... all while playing referee to two boys tattle-telling, fighting, goofing off and being really loud... if and when they aren't coughing their heads off. My husband is finally feeling somewhat better and has been able to crawl out of the hole the past couple of day. I thought of having him watch the boys so I could go out but what I really want is to be home and everyone else go out... but can't do that with sick kids. UGH! Now don't you just want to come live with me?
Thank God, every day starts new... and right now, I'm living for Monday when I can drop my kids off at school and run for my life. I really, really need my "normal" back. I need routine. I thrive with schedules. I need to find my center again. I am dying to get back teaching at Bible Study and regaining my balance. I need to see beyond my pain. I need to paint!
Well, since painting takes full focus for me and I haven't been able to do that, I have made a few cards which I have submitted for a new book being published called "1000 Handmade Greeting Cards". Whether they'll be accepted, I have no clue BUT, this is the first time I've ever submitted anything! This is a goal I have this year... to get brave and submit. No one will ever know my work and opportunities will not be coming my way if I don't put myself out there. So, I sent files of my cards this morning. Here are the 5 cards I submitted: