Thursday, July 26, 2007

just stuff

Well, first of all, I THINK I have sold my crane painting. The paypal payment hasn't shown up yet so no celebrating until I hear the "ching, ching"! The hummingbird has now been listed in my Etsy store here:

Yesterday, I had FOUR peach-faced love birds so I have the feeders stocked early this morning in preparation!

It rained BUCKETS... I mean BUCKETS yesterday! We needed it badly.

I had meetings all morning yesterday in preparation for Women's Bible Study starting the beginning of September. Now that I'm leadership (gosh, that sounds weird to say or write), I will be having monthly meetings from here on out. I am trying not to get nervous about teaching this year and am very thankful that God has provided me with a team partner that is not an artist (by her admission although I think she's in denial) but she thinks very differently than I do. We are very different yet our hearts desire the same things. She is, I believe, the perfect match for me to teach this class. I have to admit that I feel overwhelmed in moments of realizing how inadequate I really am to teach women about meditating on God's word and creating art as a reponse. I don't know what the heck I'm doing!!! But God does... I have to keep telling myself the truth. This is the truth:
1.) I KNOW that God has asked me to do teach class.
2.) That God works in spite of me.
3.) God's abilities are far above my own.
4.) This class is NOT about me and what I can do.
5.) God will give me what I need to provide tools for these women.
6.) I will be learning too.
7.) I don't have to get my act together to be used by God.
8.) It's HIS work, not mine.
9.) He knows the plans for each week and will tell me as we go.
10.) I can trust Him to show up when we seek Him.
11.) When I am weak, He is strong.
12.) When I feel inadequate and ill equipt, He is adequate and provides all that is needed.
13.) God doesn't care what condition I am in crawling at His feet... He only cares that I'm crawling at His feet.
14.) God always keeps His promises.
15.) I'm not teaching, God is.

These things I am telling myself to fight the fear that wells up inside me... you know, those evil voices that tell you:
What do you think you are doing? You can't teach women! Most of the time you are a mess in survival mode, how can you teach anything. You'd better get your act together before you try to teach anything to anyone. You are such a hypocrite to go teach about God's love when you yell at your kids on the way out the door. If everyone knew....

so, I fight these internal voices that want to defeat me, defeat God's purpose in me, with the truth and confession... yes, by telling what I'm struggling with, I am freed of the bondage it can have over me. I can then be real, let people into my life and pray for me, encourage me, stand beside me, and help me. And God can be seen for who He really is and be free to work. I am humbled beyond words. It really isn't all about me.

OK, so, I had meetings yesterday and since it poured down buckets of rain, once I got home, I stayed home. Phoenix streets were not built to withstand sudden downpours in large volumes of water. Streets start flooding very quickly and people drive like maniacs. So I stayed home.

Today, I have to take my boys out to buy a birthday gift for one of their closest friends who has a birthday party this afternoon out sorta' near Fran's house... how convenient for me that this is a "drop off" party! :) So you know where I'll be for a bit this afternoon! Then, I have a prayer meeting tonight. So the day will be busy and running.


Joanne Huffman said...

Congratulations on selling your watercolor. I'm sure things will go well with your Bible study group.

Maija said...

Angie, you are kind and compassionate. You will be a wonderful teacher!

Miz Carla said...

Amen!!! Angie you'll be great in Women's ministry--you are so sweet and kind!

I'll hold you close in prayer--
no worrying allowed :D